Dan here again. Mom's day Saturday was simply wonderful. Those of you who've talked to her lately know that her ability to hold conversations has improved. It's a relative thing of course; she's still slower in conversation than most people, and her speech is still slurred.
Sometimes, especially at first, it was very hard to understand her. But other times, if you disregard the slurring, she held up her end of the conversation quite well. The beginning of the visit took on a light tone as a result. When I arrived, she did not quite realize who I was, and generally seemed to be in and out of clarity. At some point early in the visit I was clarifying, "I'm your son, Dan."
This happens often enough, at first -- not always, but it's never a surprise. This time she replied with "Do you know my son Dan?" I answered "I am your son Dan." She opened her eyes wider, focused on me, and started laughing. "It's a bit of an absurd conversation," she said. We actually both laughed together at that.
This may seem ordinary or in fact somewhat sad, but to me it was wonderful to see. She was recognizing the absurdity of the situation, and employing her lifelong ally against the slings and arrows, that is, her sense of humor. I have not heard her laugh for months, not like that. Maybe an occasional "Hah!" in an editorial way... but not laughter from the heart.
Then she asked "Do you know my daughter Vivien?" and before I could answer she laughed some more and said "Well of course you do, you're my son!"
The remainder of Saturday she was more and more clear, and in a good mood throughout. I showed her a card that had arrived for the holiday, and she held it, and looked at it, and started to worry about getting her holiday cards out. I told her people understood if she didn't send them out this year, because she's been ill. She seemed satisfied with this out, and took it. (We continue to thank you for your cards and letters.)
As to Sunday, in the morning she wasn't awake so I returned in the evening. Things were a little more muddled, but again, she continues to be easier to understand than during those periods of "decline." I'm still mindful that her abilities come and go. We're still hopeful that her present level of lucidity is more normal, and due to more vigilance about urinary tract infections (monitoring and prompt treatment for same.) They're very common in her condition, and can cause confusion.
Since becoming more lucid, she'd developed a nervous habit with her right hand. She does not so often pick at her arm or the site of her feeding tube, but now she constantly touches her teeth and her lips with her right forefinger. I asked her why she does it -- then, realizing she may not be conscious of it, whether she knows she's doing it. She said people tell her she is, but then followed up with "I know I'm doing it, it's a nervous habit."
That worries me a little. I worry she might bite herself, or that she might return to scratching, which could cause infection. I brought this to her nurse's attention, along with another red area on one of her arms on Saturday. She's got more antibiotic ointment on that area now, but none of us quite know what to do about the wandering forefinger.
Ah well, that's a hazard of an active nervous system, I suppose... you may develop nervous habits.
Love to you all, and l'shana tovah to our Jewish friends and relatives,
Dan
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