Dan and I got to visit with Estelle briefly this morning. She was on her way to the shower when we got there and because Dan had to be at work we did not get to stay long enough for the staff to complete her shower and get her resituated again. We did get to say hello to her and I was able to check on her hand which looked good.
The reason Dan had taken the morning off was twofold. I had received a call from the nurse there yesterday and the nurse wanted to speak to Dan. I explained that he was at work and unreachable and asked if she could please tell me whatever it was she had called about. She then informed me that my name had somehow been removed from the "contact" list and she was no longer allowed to give me any information concerning Estelle's condition. I asked to speak to the nursing supervisor but she was unavailable and the social worker was not answering her phone. I did manage to reach Dan and have him call the nursing home and it turned out that an aide had accidently cut Mom's thumb while trimming her nails and they wanted to let him know.
Dan attempted to straighten out the "contact" with the nurse but she was unable to change anything so we decided that he should take half a day off today to fix it just in case something should happen in the meantime.
We met with the social worker today and she has, once again, added my name to the contact sheet so we should be ok. It's disturbing, however, because no one seems to know what happened to the original contact page in Mom's chart or how it disappeared or why this new one suddenly (within the last two or three weeks) appeared in it's place. They insist that very few people have access to changing the information and that no information is ever changed without contacting the family first so it's a real mystery as to what may have happened.
I am only glad that it was caught before anything more serious occurred. I would have hated for Estelle to have been taken to the hospital or to have become seriously ill and not been notified and thus she would have been left alone to deal with whatever had happened to her. It is not always possible to reach Dan during the day and even when it is, it is time-consuming and he is much further away from Woodbine and the hospital than I am. What would take me 10 minutes would take him close to two hours in travel time.
Anyhow - all is well for now. Mom was awake and looking around but not talking. She did not respond to us but, again, she was half-way out the door on the way to the shower room and it generally takes her a good 10 to 15 minutes to begin talking if she's awake. Her finger looked ok - there's a small scratch on the tip of her thumb but they cleaned it well and are keeping an eye on it.
I've just gotten off the phone with the doctor's office and they've started Estelle on a five day course of antibiotics just to ward off the possiblity of another cellulitis.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sunday, 6/26/11
I saw Mom this afternoon, and she was much more responsive, though it's a relative thing. She seems to have gone through a strictly incommunicado phase, but she's talking again in response to questions, and even volunteered a few thoughts. I told her Meryl would be visiting in July, and that in August, our kids from the West Coast were coming. she asked "What do I have to do?" I told her there was nothing she had to do, just to rest and be comfortable, and we would take care of everything. I asked her if there was anything I should do for her, and she said "Pose for a picture and be beautiful." I asked "I should, you should, or both?" And she said both. So I took a picture of her with my camera phone, with me leaning into the frame. Well, we both looked at it but I don't think it was very comforting, given the more-than-usual silence that followed... or it might have just been more than-usual-conversation just prior, for all I know. We did talk a bit more about the weather here in Virginia (it's been hot, but it was nice and cool in her room,) and I told her I'd bring the guitar again next visit. For everyone who's sent letters and cards, the first order of business is always mail call, so please know that your correspondence is received. All our best to the family and friends we've gotten to correspond more with since this started,
Dan
Dan
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Happy First Day of Summer!!
I've finally gotten to Woodbine on my own. It's been awhile and I've missed going. I've just come to the conclusion that just like 40 is the new 30, "yuck," is the new "ok," when it comes to feeling well and I can't just sit around and wait for magic.
Estelle's nurse had called me yesterday and asked that we buy some more clothes for Estelle. I'm unsure how often they do laundry there - or if their washing machines somehow eat clothing because we bought her quite a bit of new clothing when she arrived here and bought her several new outfits on Mother's Day - but I checked with the head nurse and she verified that she specifically needed bottoms or gowns and so I went shopping before my visit this morning. I picked up a lounging suit (really neat cotton/rayon comfy material - top and bottom) as well as 3 pairs of pants and two mid-calf dressing gowns.
Estelle, unfortunately, did not get to see any of it as she was totally sound asleep and neither Teehah (the nursing supervisor) or I were able to wake her at all. Sometimes we can get her to open her eyes even if she does not feel like talking but even that was not happening today. I spoke to Phyllis, her aide, and she said that she had been given a shower this morning and was awake but untalkative for that and as soon as they got her back into bed she had fallen sound asleep.
I stayed for an hour or so - labeling her clothing, hanging things up, straightening her closet and drawers and hanging all of her lovely new cards on her cork board and then left without managing to rouse her at all.
Teenah did mention in the course of the conversation that Mom had talked to Vivian at some point last week. (I think she said Friday, but I am unsure now.) Teenah said that she thought they had a nice talk and that Mom was responsive at the time. Hopefully that is so.
There was a treasure trove of cards and letters from friends and relatives on her nightstand. I think that Dan has read some of them to her already. I put the letters in her drawer and hung the cards on her board and the next time one of us visits and she is awake we will take them out and down and read them again to her.
I know that several people have said that they were going to try calling Estelle through the nursing station and that's fine. It would be nice if those who do get in contact with her could also let us know how she was so that everyone who's interested can get a full picture.
It dawned on me when Teenah told me about how much Mom seemed to enjoy talking to Vivian that Dan and I only know (and can only report back to everyone here) what we, personally, observe. It's an imcomplete picture if Dan and I say that we have been unable to rouse her and people are left to think that she is unresponsive all the time when there are times that we are not there and she is able to converse on the telephone. The nurses are very good at letting us know what they observe but they do not think to tell us about family/friend interaction because they presume we are all communicating between ourselves.
There is a function here on the blog which allows people to comment on any given post. It would be great if anyone who speaks to Estelle could share their thoughts or observations with everyone. Basically, you simply go to the end of the latest entry and hit "COMMENT" and it will give you a space to type whatever you wish to say and hit "ENTER" and your comment will show up beneath the post. I believe there are options you can use - anonymous, blogger or by name. I think you have to put in your email address but that does not show up anywhere.
It would be most helpful to Dan and I and it would be nice for everyone who's concerned about Estelle's well-being if we all knew, as much as it is possible to know, how often Estelle is awake and aware or if there are any concerns which we might not be addressing because we are unaware of them.
Your input and your help would be much appreciated.
I've finally gotten to Woodbine on my own. It's been awhile and I've missed going. I've just come to the conclusion that just like 40 is the new 30, "yuck," is the new "ok," when it comes to feeling well and I can't just sit around and wait for magic.
Estelle's nurse had called me yesterday and asked that we buy some more clothes for Estelle. I'm unsure how often they do laundry there - or if their washing machines somehow eat clothing because we bought her quite a bit of new clothing when she arrived here and bought her several new outfits on Mother's Day - but I checked with the head nurse and she verified that she specifically needed bottoms or gowns and so I went shopping before my visit this morning. I picked up a lounging suit (really neat cotton/rayon comfy material - top and bottom) as well as 3 pairs of pants and two mid-calf dressing gowns.
Estelle, unfortunately, did not get to see any of it as she was totally sound asleep and neither Teehah (the nursing supervisor) or I were able to wake her at all. Sometimes we can get her to open her eyes even if she does not feel like talking but even that was not happening today. I spoke to Phyllis, her aide, and she said that she had been given a shower this morning and was awake but untalkative for that and as soon as they got her back into bed she had fallen sound asleep.
I stayed for an hour or so - labeling her clothing, hanging things up, straightening her closet and drawers and hanging all of her lovely new cards on her cork board and then left without managing to rouse her at all.
Teenah did mention in the course of the conversation that Mom had talked to Vivian at some point last week. (I think she said Friday, but I am unsure now.) Teenah said that she thought they had a nice talk and that Mom was responsive at the time. Hopefully that is so.
There was a treasure trove of cards and letters from friends and relatives on her nightstand. I think that Dan has read some of them to her already. I put the letters in her drawer and hung the cards on her board and the next time one of us visits and she is awake we will take them out and down and read them again to her.
I know that several people have said that they were going to try calling Estelle through the nursing station and that's fine. It would be nice if those who do get in contact with her could also let us know how she was so that everyone who's interested can get a full picture.
It dawned on me when Teenah told me about how much Mom seemed to enjoy talking to Vivian that Dan and I only know (and can only report back to everyone here) what we, personally, observe. It's an imcomplete picture if Dan and I say that we have been unable to rouse her and people are left to think that she is unresponsive all the time when there are times that we are not there and she is able to converse on the telephone. The nurses are very good at letting us know what they observe but they do not think to tell us about family/friend interaction because they presume we are all communicating between ourselves.
There is a function here on the blog which allows people to comment on any given post. It would be great if anyone who speaks to Estelle could share their thoughts or observations with everyone. Basically, you simply go to the end of the latest entry and hit "COMMENT" and it will give you a space to type whatever you wish to say and hit "ENTER" and your comment will show up beneath the post. I believe there are options you can use - anonymous, blogger or by name. I think you have to put in your email address but that does not show up anywhere.
It would be most helpful to Dan and I and it would be nice for everyone who's concerned about Estelle's well-being if we all knew, as much as it is possible to know, how often Estelle is awake and aware or if there are any concerns which we might not be addressing because we are unaware of them.
Your input and your help would be much appreciated.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Oy...late again. More apologies to all.
Dan visited on Sunday, June 19th. He had his guitar, he had some mail to read and he had a list of people to call.
Unfortunately, Estelle was having none of it. She was not awake when he arrived and only woke very very briefly the entire time he was there.
He tried hard to rouse her but when he was unable to do so, he simply sat with her and played a few songs on the guitar for her.
Some days there is not much more we can do.
I believe he did call Meryl and Mark and Vivian and left messages for all - and he talked to Marlene earlier in the day and they had agreed that he would call her if Mom was awake.
And so - a belated Happy Birthday to Mark and we're sorry things did not work out and that Mom was unable to speak to anyone this past weekend.
Hopefully next weekend will be better.
Dan visited on Sunday, June 19th. He had his guitar, he had some mail to read and he had a list of people to call.
Unfortunately, Estelle was having none of it. She was not awake when he arrived and only woke very very briefly the entire time he was there.
He tried hard to rouse her but when he was unable to do so, he simply sat with her and played a few songs on the guitar for her.
Some days there is not much more we can do.
I believe he did call Meryl and Mark and Vivian and left messages for all - and he talked to Marlene earlier in the day and they had agreed that he would call her if Mom was awake.
And so - a belated Happy Birthday to Mark and we're sorry things did not work out and that Mom was unable to speak to anyone this past weekend.
Hopefully next weekend will be better.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Sunday 6/12, a day late.
Dan here. Fire alarm Sunday morning, power outage in the evening - I am only just getting caught up on the weekend.
It will be a fairly short entry. Mom was fairly quiet again Sunday. I talked to her a little, then we called Vivien, and Mom heard her news. I had a lot of trouble, again, persuading Mom to talk, so I just played the guitar. When I started this she said "yes," which I think means it was a good idea.
I tried some more to get her to talk, but in vain. I don't think she's uncomfortable or in pain, and I don't think she's shy about saying if she is. I think she's just more and more tired more and more often.
It will be a fairly short entry. Mom was fairly quiet again Sunday. I talked to her a little, then we called Vivien, and Mom heard her news. I had a lot of trouble, again, persuading Mom to talk, so I just played the guitar. When I started this she said "yes," which I think means it was a good idea.
I tried some more to get her to talk, but in vain. I don't think she's uncomfortable or in pain, and I don't think she's shy about saying if she is. I think she's just more and more tired more and more often.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Saturday, 6/11/11
It's been hot and humid all week here in Virginia. I visited yesterday, and we stayed in Mom's room. Maybe today we'll go outside again to the patio, depending on whether last night's rain made a difference in the weather.
Mom's more talkative again, which is a nice change. It's always refreshing after a visit when there are very few words over the course of a lot of time, when Mom's comparatively alert and "chatty" from the moment one comes in. We talked to Merryl, who says Viv found her talkative on the phone at some point during the week as well.
When I first dropped in yesterday, she opened her eyes fairly soon after my arrival, and I asked how she is. Her voice is fairly weak now still, but she answered "appropriately," with the right pleasantries. "I'm wonderful, how are you?" I answered "appropriately," then asked how she's been the last week. She answered with something involving the phrases "my husband" and "my grandfather." I asked whether she's been thinking about them a lot, and she answered with an emphatic "you bet." But after that I couldn't really determine whether she had a strong belief they were still living, or whether she had been thinking through her memories of them both.
I mention this because shortly afterward she became convinced that her father had just passed away, and they had just buried him. She thought it was very important that she go to shul, I think to mark the passing. I told her it was all right, and was able to get across that he'd passed some time ago, but that she might be thinking of an anniversary of that event.
We called Meryl, and they had a nice chat as well. But here in Virginia, we now have a fire alarm in our building, so this will have to be a short entry. More tonight,
Dan
Mom's more talkative again, which is a nice change. It's always refreshing after a visit when there are very few words over the course of a lot of time, when Mom's comparatively alert and "chatty" from the moment one comes in. We talked to Merryl, who says Viv found her talkative on the phone at some point during the week as well.
When I first dropped in yesterday, she opened her eyes fairly soon after my arrival, and I asked how she is. Her voice is fairly weak now still, but she answered "appropriately," with the right pleasantries. "I'm wonderful, how are you?" I answered "appropriately," then asked how she's been the last week. She answered with something involving the phrases "my husband" and "my grandfather." I asked whether she's been thinking about them a lot, and she answered with an emphatic "you bet." But after that I couldn't really determine whether she had a strong belief they were still living, or whether she had been thinking through her memories of them both.
I mention this because shortly afterward she became convinced that her father had just passed away, and they had just buried him. She thought it was very important that she go to shul, I think to mark the passing. I told her it was all right, and was able to get across that he'd passed some time ago, but that she might be thinking of an anniversary of that event.
We called Meryl, and they had a nice chat as well. But here in Virginia, we now have a fire alarm in our building, so this will have to be a short entry. More tonight,
Dan
Friday, June 10, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Finally had a few spare minutes and stopped at Woodbine after dropping Dan off at the Metro station. Unfortunately they were giving Estelle a shower when I arrived and I ended up spending almost an hour with the head nurse while waiting (in vain) for Estelle to be finished with her daily abulations.
Unfortunately I had to be back home by 10:30 for a conference call so I was unable to stay until they were done and was forced to leave without actually seeing her at all.
It was good to be able to spend that much time with Teena, however. She's a very smart woman and very dedicated....she also knows Estelle quite well and has shown an active interest in her care since Mom arrived here. She went over Estelle's chart with me and we discussed her recent refusal/inability to communicate with anyone. The nurses have all noticed it, too, and are trying their best to arouse her and to get her to participate in conversation with them. It is virtually impossible to tell if she is unable to or simply unwilling. Teena seems to feel that she is choosing to retreat - that she is depressed and unhappy with her situation and this is her way of dealing with it. She says it is not uncommon at all and they have several patients who react in the same manner. We discussed changing her anti-depressant medication but, truthfully, there is not much left to try. She has already been on most of them over the course of the past year and none of them have shown much ability to rouse her out of her disinterest. She is currently taking two different anti-depressants. Teena will talk to the doctor about it but she does not expect that he will want to change them again. One of them also doubles as a nerve pain blocker so that one will have to remain the same in any case.
They did run another series of "routine" blood work to rule out any infectious process which might be going on which was causing the sustained lethargy but it all came back negative...in fact, Teena says her blood work is just about "perfect."
Her only suggestion was to continue doing as we are doing - visiting, talking and sitting with her. Teena is making sure that her aides and her nurses do not "switch" patients on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. She says that she has assembled her "best" people, nurses and aides, and has assigned them less patients than normal but they are the most in need of care and attention. Mom is one of them. Teena believes (and I agree with her) that continuity of care is vitally important to people who are unable to communicate and so she does not have the staff assigned to them rotate as the staff usually does unless they specifically ask to be transferred. Mom's aide, Phyllis, and her nurse, Angelicia, are very dedicated and careful people - they are doing everything they can to assure that she gets as much stimulation and care as she needs and deserves.
That's about all I have today. Not good news, I'm sure, but medically, at least, Estelle is stable and doing well. It's hard to tell if it is damage from the stroke which is solely responsible for her lethargy or if it's a combination of depression and damage which is at work here. Either way, everyone seems to be doing the best they can to help improve the situation.
Unfortunately I had to be back home by 10:30 for a conference call so I was unable to stay until they were done and was forced to leave without actually seeing her at all.
It was good to be able to spend that much time with Teena, however. She's a very smart woman and very dedicated....she also knows Estelle quite well and has shown an active interest in her care since Mom arrived here. She went over Estelle's chart with me and we discussed her recent refusal/inability to communicate with anyone. The nurses have all noticed it, too, and are trying their best to arouse her and to get her to participate in conversation with them. It is virtually impossible to tell if she is unable to or simply unwilling. Teena seems to feel that she is choosing to retreat - that she is depressed and unhappy with her situation and this is her way of dealing with it. She says it is not uncommon at all and they have several patients who react in the same manner. We discussed changing her anti-depressant medication but, truthfully, there is not much left to try. She has already been on most of them over the course of the past year and none of them have shown much ability to rouse her out of her disinterest. She is currently taking two different anti-depressants. Teena will talk to the doctor about it but she does not expect that he will want to change them again. One of them also doubles as a nerve pain blocker so that one will have to remain the same in any case.
They did run another series of "routine" blood work to rule out any infectious process which might be going on which was causing the sustained lethargy but it all came back negative...in fact, Teena says her blood work is just about "perfect."
Her only suggestion was to continue doing as we are doing - visiting, talking and sitting with her. Teena is making sure that her aides and her nurses do not "switch" patients on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. She says that she has assembled her "best" people, nurses and aides, and has assigned them less patients than normal but they are the most in need of care and attention. Mom is one of them. Teena believes (and I agree with her) that continuity of care is vitally important to people who are unable to communicate and so she does not have the staff assigned to them rotate as the staff usually does unless they specifically ask to be transferred. Mom's aide, Phyllis, and her nurse, Angelicia, are very dedicated and careful people - they are doing everything they can to assure that she gets as much stimulation and care as she needs and deserves.
That's about all I have today. Not good news, I'm sure, but medically, at least, Estelle is stable and doing well. It's hard to tell if it is damage from the stroke which is solely responsible for her lethargy or if it's a combination of depression and damage which is at work here. Either way, everyone seems to be doing the best they can to help improve the situation.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Ack...I thought Dan had done a post for Monday but apparently he did not.
Briefly, Dan visited Estelle again on Monday afternoon. I did not accompany him this time so I am recounting from his recount.
He said Estelle was only partially awake and only some of the time but that she was more alert than she had been Sunday when we were both visiting so that's an improvement.
I know that he said she talked with both Viv and Meryl for a bit so that is good news, too.
The nurse had called us earlier that day to notify us that she had a small blister which had opened up under her right arm and they were asking permission to treat it with an antibiotic ointment. When he arrived at Woodbine Dan asked the nurse to show him the wound site but Mom was not cooperating with lifting her arm very well so he did not get a very good look at it. The nurse said it was quite small and they had noticed it while bathing her. They will, of course, continue to monitor and treat as needed.
Mom was not very talkative with Dan on Monday and the nurses report that she has been less communicative with them, as well, and has been for most of the week. I am unsure as to why. They also told us on Sunday that her blood pressure has been rising again and they are keeping an eye on that, too. It seems to spike just a bit before her blood pressure medicine patch is changed so perhaps they will need to increase the dosage or decrease the time between administering patches. They do have suction at the bedside now and she is occasionally receiving oxygen again as needed. For awhile she was not needing it but now that they are getting her up in the chair more often her sats are once again falling. For every action there is a reaction, I suppose. It's a shame, though.
Other than that things remain the same. It is impossible to take her out lately - we are having a horrid early summer and the temperatures are in the high 90s by midmorning. The quality of the air here is not good in the best of times and when the temperature gets this high they are constantly issuing breathing alerts to DC and VA residents warning anyone with breathing difficulties or heart problems to please stay indoors.
I am unsure when I will be next able to visit with Estelle. I am in the middle of trying to get my own mother on Medicaid in Indiana and since my filing skills are not the best I am spending countless hours trying to gather together all of the information necessary. Between that and daily phone calls from the State of Indiana and the financial offices at my mom's nursing home I'm tearing my hair out. It all needs to be completed by early next week so I'm kinda in a tizzy.
We do stay in close touch with the staff at Woodbine, however, and they are great at keeping us informed with even very small matters so we are confident that Mom continues to get good care and that we will be notified immediately if her condition should change.
I apologize for any shortness Dan or I may have shown to anyone lately....it's been a really rough couple of weeks for both of us - between huge work projects for Dan and my own health issues and my mother's impending Medicaid application it's been hard to keep up with everything and everyone.
Briefly, Dan visited Estelle again on Monday afternoon. I did not accompany him this time so I am recounting from his recount.
He said Estelle was only partially awake and only some of the time but that she was more alert than she had been Sunday when we were both visiting so that's an improvement.
I know that he said she talked with both Viv and Meryl for a bit so that is good news, too.
The nurse had called us earlier that day to notify us that she had a small blister which had opened up under her right arm and they were asking permission to treat it with an antibiotic ointment. When he arrived at Woodbine Dan asked the nurse to show him the wound site but Mom was not cooperating with lifting her arm very well so he did not get a very good look at it. The nurse said it was quite small and they had noticed it while bathing her. They will, of course, continue to monitor and treat as needed.
Mom was not very talkative with Dan on Monday and the nurses report that she has been less communicative with them, as well, and has been for most of the week. I am unsure as to why. They also told us on Sunday that her blood pressure has been rising again and they are keeping an eye on that, too. It seems to spike just a bit before her blood pressure medicine patch is changed so perhaps they will need to increase the dosage or decrease the time between administering patches. They do have suction at the bedside now and she is occasionally receiving oxygen again as needed. For awhile she was not needing it but now that they are getting her up in the chair more often her sats are once again falling. For every action there is a reaction, I suppose. It's a shame, though.
Other than that things remain the same. It is impossible to take her out lately - we are having a horrid early summer and the temperatures are in the high 90s by midmorning. The quality of the air here is not good in the best of times and when the temperature gets this high they are constantly issuing breathing alerts to DC and VA residents warning anyone with breathing difficulties or heart problems to please stay indoors.
I am unsure when I will be next able to visit with Estelle. I am in the middle of trying to get my own mother on Medicaid in Indiana and since my filing skills are not the best I am spending countless hours trying to gather together all of the information necessary. Between that and daily phone calls from the State of Indiana and the financial offices at my mom's nursing home I'm tearing my hair out. It all needs to be completed by early next week so I'm kinda in a tizzy.
We do stay in close touch with the staff at Woodbine, however, and they are great at keeping us informed with even very small matters so we are confident that Mom continues to get good care and that we will be notified immediately if her condition should change.
I apologize for any shortness Dan or I may have shown to anyone lately....it's been a really rough couple of weeks for both of us - between huge work projects for Dan and my own health issues and my mother's impending Medicaid application it's been hard to keep up with everything and everyone.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Sunday 6/5/11
Dan here. This will be a very brief weekend note. We went for a little while Saturday, and Mom did not talk at all. I stayed about an hour and a half today, and we exchanged only a few words. She seems very, very tired. Mom "talked" to Viv over the phone, or more accurately, listened a lot. I could get her to open her eyes and answer "yes" to the question, "can you hear me?" But that's about it the last couple of days. She's more "submerged." I'll be back in tomorrow to see if that's abated at all.
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