Both Dan and I got to visit with Mom this morning. She was sleeping when we arrived but woke soon afterwards. We visited for awhile but for some reason there were countless nursing interruptions today - maybe because we were there a little later than usual, I don't know. First there were medications to be given and then there was a breathing treatment so we spent a good deal of time in the waiting room instead of visiting with Estelle. It's one of those "good things, bad things," I think. I'm glad to know they spend a good deal of time with her but, on the other hand, I wish they'd do it when I'm not there.
She did get a chance to have a long phone conversation with Vivian so that was a good thing. She always asks about her children and her extended family and friends so it's always nice when we can get her connected with someone she's missing.
Estelle is looking physically better lately, I think. It could just be because we are seeing her more often but I like to think it's a reality and not imaginary. She was wearing a new blue blouse which looked quite nice on her and whatever new body lotion they are using really smells great. I tried to talk the aide into telling me what the name of it was but she would not give it up. I think it's one of the "magic potions" that the bathing aide makes up personally. Whatever it was, it smelled wonderful.
Mom was a little confused today, and somewhat sad. She wants to go somewhere but she's unsure where it is she wants to go. It's hard to tell her she cannot do so. Dan talked to her about needing to work at it and she seemed satisfied but I don't think she really understands.
We are hoping this last holding on of the winter leaves soon so that we can, at the very least, get her outside and into the fresh air. Unfortunately it is cold and wet and looks more like November than almost April. Even the doffodils look confused.
We're still waiting on maintenance to hang the pictures. They seem to work at their own speed and that speed is not fast. Because I am a world-class procrastinator myself I do not have the heart to chase them down just yet. I have no idea of what their daily workday is like so I will hope that as soon as they have time they will come and insert the hardware into the wall and we can hang the artwork.
Thanks to everyone who calls or writes - as always, it is muchly appreciated.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Two weeks today and still acclimating. Today was another "first" and a surprise for both Estelle and I.
I seem to always arrive before they are done giving the morning baths and dressing the patients so I spent my first half-hour or so reading old magazines in the hallway. Usually when the aides are done they simply come and get me and tell me that I can go in the room now but today they came out to where I was sitting with a surprise - Estelle!!
She was in the chair and ready to go. We decided on the "day" room which doubles as the dining room during meal times since it is bright, airy, looks outdoors on two sides, has a television, is close to her room and was not heavily populated at the time.
Unfortunately she refused to open her eyes for the entire time we were there. She was talking, even had a fairly long phone conversation with her friend, Meryl, but would not look around at all. I'm not sure why. She seemed a bit confused as to where she was and perhaps she was fearful, but that's conjecture on my part, I really don't know why.
She was a bit upset and confused at first - wanting to call Vivian and speak to her - wanting to know when she could "go home," and wondering where her husband was and why he was not telling her what to do. However, her lucidity soon returned as she reported to me that that's what husband's do, you know, they tell you what to do all the time.
We stayed in the sitting area for a little less than two hours, sometimes talking, sometimes not. I did ask that they return her to her room before I left because she did still seem a little confused and I did not want her to be alone and frightened. The head nurse took her right back to her room when I requested and I stayed a bit longer and she was fast asleep in the reclining chair when I left.
I was glad to see her breathing remained stable the entire time - without supplemental oxygen and she seems to be sitting straighter and not slumping to the side nearly as much as before.
I took a few pictures while we were "out and about" and I'll share them with you all.
We are still waiting for maintenance to come and hang the other three pictures on her walls. One is a large O'Keefe print from her condo and the other two are photo collages which we've made from the photos everyone's sent.
Day room and the view from the window in the day room
Estelle's picture board in her room and her television table
I seem to always arrive before they are done giving the morning baths and dressing the patients so I spent my first half-hour or so reading old magazines in the hallway. Usually when the aides are done they simply come and get me and tell me that I can go in the room now but today they came out to where I was sitting with a surprise - Estelle!!
She was in the chair and ready to go. We decided on the "day" room which doubles as the dining room during meal times since it is bright, airy, looks outdoors on two sides, has a television, is close to her room and was not heavily populated at the time.
Unfortunately she refused to open her eyes for the entire time we were there. She was talking, even had a fairly long phone conversation with her friend, Meryl, but would not look around at all. I'm not sure why. She seemed a bit confused as to where she was and perhaps she was fearful, but that's conjecture on my part, I really don't know why.
She was a bit upset and confused at first - wanting to call Vivian and speak to her - wanting to know when she could "go home," and wondering where her husband was and why he was not telling her what to do. However, her lucidity soon returned as she reported to me that that's what husband's do, you know, they tell you what to do all the time.
We stayed in the sitting area for a little less than two hours, sometimes talking, sometimes not. I did ask that they return her to her room before I left because she did still seem a little confused and I did not want her to be alone and frightened. The head nurse took her right back to her room when I requested and I stayed a bit longer and she was fast asleep in the reclining chair when I left.
I was glad to see her breathing remained stable the entire time - without supplemental oxygen and she seems to be sitting straighter and not slumping to the side nearly as much as before.
I took a few pictures while we were "out and about" and I'll share them with you all.
We are still waiting for maintenance to come and hang the other three pictures on her walls. One is a large O'Keefe print from her condo and the other two are photo collages which we've made from the photos everyone's sent.
Day room and the view from the window in the day room
Estelle's picture board in her room and her television table
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Sunday, 3/27
Sunday found Mom sleeping the entire time we were there, which gave us more time for our arts and crafts project (getting some of the photos nicely collaged/arranged on corkboards, and we brought in the O'keefe poster). Evidently, their maintenance staff has to do the actual hanging, whether of corkboard or artwork, so we'll be in touch with those guys this week.
We talked to her nurse a bit, and there's good news: her O2 sat is 97-98%, which means the oxygen is now PRN, medicalese for "as needed." (Laura says nobody's ever 100, so 97-98 is very good.) That makes it much less of a production to go for a walk with her, once she's in the chair. He also said she tolerated sitting in the chair for a couple of hours Friday.
And on one brief weather-related note: we had snow this morning. I don't know about you guys, but I'm about over winter. Here's hoping for a mild spring and plenty of it.
We talked to her nurse a bit, and there's good news: her O2 sat is 97-98%, which means the oxygen is now PRN, medicalese for "as needed." (Laura says nobody's ever 100, so 97-98 is very good.) That makes it much less of a production to go for a walk with her, once she's in the chair. He also said she tolerated sitting in the chair for a couple of hours Friday.
And on one brief weather-related note: we had snow this morning. I don't know about you guys, but I'm about over winter. Here's hoping for a mild spring and plenty of it.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Saturday, 3/26
Mom's still fairly alert today, and still conversing pretty well. At first her speech was more garbled, but it improved as the time went by. The most frustrating thing, I think for her as well as us, is that when her speech is most garbled, the "filler words" come out most clear. So very often, she'll ask "Did you know that [unintelligible]," or "I feel that [unintelligible.]" The most garbled words tend to be the ones on which the meaning of the sentence turn. So at first today I did quite a bit of guessing. But as the visit progressed, the big-ticket words -- the ones carrying the meaning of the sentence -- started being clearer. I do not know whether to ascribe this to my re-acclimation to her or vice versa.
She asked how everybody is, and how I am, and of course, I told her we're fine. She does not seem to think that any of us has met with an unfortunate accident anymore, so I think the UTI-inspired confusion's abated some, though she may still be a bit on the fuzzy side. We made some calls while I was there, one to Mark and one to Marlene (her sister in England,) so Mom got the update on her siblings. A bit more of the old Estelle shone through as she was talking to Mark, as she started asking when he'd be in to visit. As poor Mark tried to explain that it's a plane trip, and he had to plan it out, she shifted her tack to ask him to tell her "approximately." Her will is still there, that's for sure, but I think at today's level of understanding, Mom could not process the difference between a visit that's some time off, and a "what time will you be here" visit, as if it will be tomorrow.
I worked with her a little trying to acquaint her with the nurse-call button. If you haven't seen them, or if there are different kinds, the kind she has is as follows: There's a long cord, ending in an assembly about the size of a small hand-held microphone. On the end of it is a nice big red button.
Mom's fingers and thumb were around a foam rubber thingie they use to combat contractions, so I did not want to replace them with the call button just then. But I asked if she knew what it is. She said "let me see it," so I held it up closer to her. She said "it's a cord." I explained what it is, and what it is for - then I put my finger by her thumb, and asked if she could press against my finger. She couldn't - she might have exerted the slightest bit of pressure using her thumb, and none when I put my finger by her index finger. But interestingly, she moved her arm and hand to exert the pressure.
So while it would be best if she gets control of the digits on her hand -- which may have been impeded today by the foam rubber thingie, after all -- it would still be possible if she grasps the idea of the call button, for her to be able to press it herself by moving it against something stationary. I think that knowing how much care she requires, her aides and nurses pay a lot of attention to her. But being able to use the button, to my way of thinking, would give her a baby step toward a bit more autonomy. And as I say, this was all very spur-of-the-moment; I am not sure of uncurling her hand and curling it around another object is a painful thing to her, so I'll ask the nurse about that one. She seemed to be pretty comfortable, and I didn't want to cause her any pain with my amateur therapy session.
A little after noon today, an aide came in with a breathing treatment mask, which they give to anyone on oxygen, and with some medication. When I returned we chit-chatted a little more, but with the mask on, understanding was more difficult again. But she said the most important words the most clearly, when I left -- perhaps they were easy to say clearly because we say them to those near to us so often, like the "set up" words that don't carry meaning in a sentence. Perhaps we learn to say them purely syntactically, eventually, without semantic meaning. But at the risk of mawkishness, I'll just opt to believe -- as all of us have to, after all, some time or another -- that their semantic content is as clear in the heart as in the voice that speaks them.
They were, of course, "I love you."
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
We had a "Care Plan" meeting with the staff at Woodbine this morning. It was very nice to sit down with Estelle's "main nurse" and her social worker and find out what's been happening in the last 10 days. She's been evaluated by all of the departments and each department (except for the pokey Physical and Occupational Therapy departments) had written an evaluation and plan of action for Estelle.
For the most part, everything will remain much the same as at The Manor. The medicines are all the same as is the feeding type and schedule. They are going to speak to the physician about cutting the oxygen from all the time to part of the time and monitor her closely to make sure her breathing remains good. This would be a big "YAY" if it can happen because it will make her much more mobile. It's sometimes hard to find a portable oxygen tank and a wheelchair which can accommodate it - especially since Mom uses a reclining wheelchair and those are almost never equipped with a tank holder. Plus, oxygen is drying and can get uncomfortable, especially if it's on all the time. On a purely emotional level, psychologically speaking, less is always more. Whenever something foreign is attached to your person you feel encumbered and dependent. That, in itself, is depressing. Two of my sons spent a good portion of their childhood attached to various medical devices - any time even one of them, no matter how tiny or for how short of a time, was removed it was a matter of great celebration for all of us. I doubt it is any different if you are 8 months or 8 years or 88 or 108. The simple act of turning your head is impeded somewhat by a cannula. Answering a phone is harder if there is an IV in the back of your hand or the crook of your arm. The more things you can get rid of the better you feel. We are, therefore, hoping Estelle does well without constant oxygen.
They are going to start getting her up and in a reclining wheelchair several times a week and we'll see how that goes. She did not like sitting up while in The Manor but she has asked several times since she's moved if she can get out of bed so we're holding good hopes there, too. If she tolerates the sitting up well we're planning on getting her out of her room as often as possible for an hour or two at a time or for however long she remains comfortable. There are lots of nice sitting rooms and balconies and outside areas that we're hoping she'll enjoy.
Her nurse did mention that he'd noticed an improvement in her mental status and her awareness since she's arrived so that's all positive news and we were very glad to hear our own thoughts confirmed by a professional. Sometimes it's easy to let hope color what you observe so I'm always happy when someone removed from the emotional aspects of caregiving sees something that they regard as positive.
We did visit with Estelle for a bit before the meeting took place. Unfortunately, she was sleeping and we could not wake her. She was sleeping quite peacefully, though, and she had just had a complete shower and a hairwash and we're beginning to think that the whole process simply wears her out.
We got permission from the staff to decorate her walls so we're bringing some of her art work from her condo to her over the weekend and making a collage of the pictures everyone's been kind enough to send.
And that's that for today. Dan went on to work after the meeting and I've come home to think about doing laundry.
Hope everyone is well and enjoying spring - although I hear it is snowing in places like MA and NJ. We do not have snow here yet, but they are threatening it over the weekend. Breaks my heart because if it dips below freezing the cherry blossoms, the magnolia blossoms and the dogwood flowers will all suffer damage. They do not last long enough as it is.
For now - these are at our back door.
For the most part, everything will remain much the same as at The Manor. The medicines are all the same as is the feeding type and schedule. They are going to speak to the physician about cutting the oxygen from all the time to part of the time and monitor her closely to make sure her breathing remains good. This would be a big "YAY" if it can happen because it will make her much more mobile. It's sometimes hard to find a portable oxygen tank and a wheelchair which can accommodate it - especially since Mom uses a reclining wheelchair and those are almost never equipped with a tank holder. Plus, oxygen is drying and can get uncomfortable, especially if it's on all the time. On a purely emotional level, psychologically speaking, less is always more. Whenever something foreign is attached to your person you feel encumbered and dependent. That, in itself, is depressing. Two of my sons spent a good portion of their childhood attached to various medical devices - any time even one of them, no matter how tiny or for how short of a time, was removed it was a matter of great celebration for all of us. I doubt it is any different if you are 8 months or 8 years or 88 or 108. The simple act of turning your head is impeded somewhat by a cannula. Answering a phone is harder if there is an IV in the back of your hand or the crook of your arm. The more things you can get rid of the better you feel. We are, therefore, hoping Estelle does well without constant oxygen.
They are going to start getting her up and in a reclining wheelchair several times a week and we'll see how that goes. She did not like sitting up while in The Manor but she has asked several times since she's moved if she can get out of bed so we're holding good hopes there, too. If she tolerates the sitting up well we're planning on getting her out of her room as often as possible for an hour or two at a time or for however long she remains comfortable. There are lots of nice sitting rooms and balconies and outside areas that we're hoping she'll enjoy.
Her nurse did mention that he'd noticed an improvement in her mental status and her awareness since she's arrived so that's all positive news and we were very glad to hear our own thoughts confirmed by a professional. Sometimes it's easy to let hope color what you observe so I'm always happy when someone removed from the emotional aspects of caregiving sees something that they regard as positive.
We did visit with Estelle for a bit before the meeting took place. Unfortunately, she was sleeping and we could not wake her. She was sleeping quite peacefully, though, and she had just had a complete shower and a hairwash and we're beginning to think that the whole process simply wears her out.
We got permission from the staff to decorate her walls so we're bringing some of her art work from her condo to her over the weekend and making a collage of the pictures everyone's been kind enough to send.
And that's that for today. Dan went on to work after the meeting and I've come home to think about doing laundry.
Hope everyone is well and enjoying spring - although I hear it is snowing in places like MA and NJ. We do not have snow here yet, but they are threatening it over the weekend. Breaks my heart because if it dips below freezing the cherry blossoms, the magnolia blossoms and the dogwood flowers will all suffer damage. They do not last long enough as it is.
For now - these are at our back door.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Why I Love Estelle
This morning while visiting with Estelle I was, once again, reminded of why she holds such a special place in my heart - one usually not reserved for the "notorious mother-in-law."
The aides had just finished giving her a bath, dressing her, combing her hair and otherwise tidying things up when I got there. She was half-asleep and not inclined to talk much so we were just sitting there together being quiet. She suddenly opened her eyes and said, "Oh, you're back," and we began talking about "the terrible rumors," she'd been hearing about a car accident. Today she knew it was not true and that her children, most especially Mark, were all well and fine. I told her not to believe "rumors" and she pointed out to me that there was no way she could tell rumor from fact and the reason they called them "rumors" was because they were intended to mislead you from the get-go.
Her sister, Marlene, called at that point and after fumbling for my phone we called her back. They had a wonderful conversation together - Estelle was talkative and Marlene gave her a run down of recent activities and Estelle vocalized the wish that they all lived closer and could see one another more frequently. She told her the weather here was changing and definitely held up her end of the conversation. Afer they hung up Estelle closed her eyes for a bit and then opened them wide, turned her head, looked straight at me and said, as plain as day, "Well, that was the loveliest of interludes in an otherwise boring existance."
You have to understand, I grew up in the heart of Chicago in a rather poor blue-collar Irish-Catholic family who had little patience for my book reading or my attempts at what they considered, "fancy talk." Girl children were expected to do two things - 1) keep their mouths shut, and 2) get married and have babies. I grew up convinced that absolutely no one outside of maybe Jane Eyre really used words like "interlude" unless they were looking to get bopped in the eye socket. If you attempted to use a word like "interlude" or even one like "lovely," at the dinner table you would get one of two results, your mother would reach across the table and smack you upside the head for "getting too big for your britches," or your father would roll his eyeballs and tell you that you read far too much fantasy and not enough reality and threaten to take your library card away again.
When I met Estelle at my first Passover meal seven years ago I quickly realized that I could finally, finally use all those words that I'd always been slightly ashamed to know - my only fear was that I would mispronounce them because I'd never heard them spoken, I'd only seen them written. It soon became apparent, however, that Estelle was much too kind to ever even consider laughing at a mispronunciation.
While she never quite convinced me to do more than pretend to sip at the wine or actually (ugh, gag) swallow the horseradish she surely made me a willing and eager Passover participant with her wit and her warmth and her wonderous way with words.
She has lost none of it.
It may take her a bit longer to get it out, but it is still there and it is a joy.
The aides had just finished giving her a bath, dressing her, combing her hair and otherwise tidying things up when I got there. She was half-asleep and not inclined to talk much so we were just sitting there together being quiet. She suddenly opened her eyes and said, "Oh, you're back," and we began talking about "the terrible rumors," she'd been hearing about a car accident. Today she knew it was not true and that her children, most especially Mark, were all well and fine. I told her not to believe "rumors" and she pointed out to me that there was no way she could tell rumor from fact and the reason they called them "rumors" was because they were intended to mislead you from the get-go.
Her sister, Marlene, called at that point and after fumbling for my phone we called her back. They had a wonderful conversation together - Estelle was talkative and Marlene gave her a run down of recent activities and Estelle vocalized the wish that they all lived closer and could see one another more frequently. She told her the weather here was changing and definitely held up her end of the conversation. Afer they hung up Estelle closed her eyes for a bit and then opened them wide, turned her head, looked straight at me and said, as plain as day, "Well, that was the loveliest of interludes in an otherwise boring existance."
You have to understand, I grew up in the heart of Chicago in a rather poor blue-collar Irish-Catholic family who had little patience for my book reading or my attempts at what they considered, "fancy talk." Girl children were expected to do two things - 1) keep their mouths shut, and 2) get married and have babies. I grew up convinced that absolutely no one outside of maybe Jane Eyre really used words like "interlude" unless they were looking to get bopped in the eye socket. If you attempted to use a word like "interlude" or even one like "lovely," at the dinner table you would get one of two results, your mother would reach across the table and smack you upside the head for "getting too big for your britches," or your father would roll his eyeballs and tell you that you read far too much fantasy and not enough reality and threaten to take your library card away again.
When I met Estelle at my first Passover meal seven years ago I quickly realized that I could finally, finally use all those words that I'd always been slightly ashamed to know - my only fear was that I would mispronounce them because I'd never heard them spoken, I'd only seen them written. It soon became apparent, however, that Estelle was much too kind to ever even consider laughing at a mispronunciation.
While she never quite convinced me to do more than pretend to sip at the wine or actually (ugh, gag) swallow the horseradish she surely made me a willing and eager Passover participant with her wit and her warmth and her wonderous way with words.
She has lost none of it.
It may take her a bit longer to get it out, but it is still there and it is a joy.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Monday, March 21. 2011 Afternoon
Just a quick addition - Mom had an unexpected visitor this afternoon. Her old friend, Arlene from Fredricksburg, came with her husband to visit. Estelle did wake up and recognize her and was quite pleased to see them both. They brought a beautiful spring plant for her and it's sitting on her night table right where she can see it any time she wants. She was a bit confused about some things and very interested to know what day it was and what month. For some reason she says something is supposed to happen March 24 so if anyone knows what that date might mean to her, please let us know!! We cannot think of anything.
Anyhow, I am really glad she woke up and enjoyed seeing her old friends!! We also called Mark and she got to talk to him for a bit which made her very happy. She's pretty anxious about her children and always asks about them when we visit.
I left her awake and looking at her flowers with a promise to be back in the morning and hopefully she has a good night.
Thanks to everyone who's already sent me pictures. I know she's going to love them all once I get them collected and arranged for her wall. I can also download pics from the computer and print them if anyone wants to send me some that way.
Monday 3/21/11
Laura again.
Nothing much to report today. When I arrived at 9 the nurse's aides were cleaning and dressing Mom. It was nice to see her in "street clothes" again but unfortunately she was not awake and not about to awaken to celebrate it with me. The aides said she had not woken up during her bed bath or dressing and I had no better luck than they in getting her to respond.
She is getting antibiotics through an IV again due to a reoccurance of her UTI so that may be the reason for her lethargy today. Or maybe we're just on that one day awake and one day asleep schedule and that's how it's going to be for awhile.
Regardless, I stayed until a little after 11AM just reading a magazine and tidying up her tulips and her dresser. It's nice to just sit with her quietly sometimes. I know that Estelle loved to talk but I am not such a talker, to be honest, and sitting in comfortable silence is something I've long appreciated.
Dan even found me a prayer for such moments and I was so delighted with it that I'm going to share it with you all in hopes that everyone realizes that sometimes not talking is every bit as important a part of communication as talking is.
Effective Silence
Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, 18th Century Jewish Mystic
Teach me, Dear G-d,
That often
The most effective words
Are no words at all.
Teach me how and when
To communicate
With that most potent gift
Of silence
Nothing much to report today. When I arrived at 9 the nurse's aides were cleaning and dressing Mom. It was nice to see her in "street clothes" again but unfortunately she was not awake and not about to awaken to celebrate it with me. The aides said she had not woken up during her bed bath or dressing and I had no better luck than they in getting her to respond.
She is getting antibiotics through an IV again due to a reoccurance of her UTI so that may be the reason for her lethargy today. Or maybe we're just on that one day awake and one day asleep schedule and that's how it's going to be for awhile.
Regardless, I stayed until a little after 11AM just reading a magazine and tidying up her tulips and her dresser. It's nice to just sit with her quietly sometimes. I know that Estelle loved to talk but I am not such a talker, to be honest, and sitting in comfortable silence is something I've long appreciated.
Dan even found me a prayer for such moments and I was so delighted with it that I'm going to share it with you all in hopes that everyone realizes that sometimes not talking is every bit as important a part of communication as talking is.
Effective Silence
Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, 18th Century Jewish Mystic
Teach me, Dear G-d,
That often
The most effective words
Are no words at all.
Teach me how and when
To communicate
With that most potent gift
Of silence
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Sunday, 3/20
Dan here again. Mom was much more chatty all today. If you've talked to her, you know her speech can still be soft and hard to understand at times, but sometimes it is very clear. At first today, she began to talk about photographs, and I asked her if she wanted to see some of the ones she has here. I brought over the photos of Oscar, Marlene, and some of their brood in England, then Mark with Leah when she was a baby, and one of Mom with Vivien on Viv's wedding day. Then she wanted to see a picture of me, so presto, I produced one of me and Laura holding baby Dominic when he was born (our first grandchild.)
Mom looked through them, and (since they are now on the table where her television is,) I told her we'd arrange them where she could see them, on her wall. I also asked her if she would like us to put up the Georgia O'Keefe poster and the Toulouse Lautrec copy (it's a dancehall girl, a painting I remember from growing up, but that had fallen out of favor in her condo.) We have a few more smaller pieces of art that we salvaged when the condo was sold, and I told her we'd hang them next to her bed. She said "you'll have to help me design it," by which I think she meant we'll have to help her arrange the pictures. That sounded fine by me. We'll get those up, and move her pictures closer to her, over the next few days.
Then she began to talk about taking photos, so I took a few with my phone, and I showed them to her. She studied the pictures of herself, but did not say anything. I don't read much into that. I think she goes into more and less lucid states; she may have been taken aback by seeing herself as she is now, with little affect, some asymetry, and no makeup -- but she didn't respond as if shocked. She looked, and I told her it was the picture I just took, but it seemed more that there was a disconnect -- that regardless of that information, I must have been showing her a picture of someone else. Or for all I know, the glare on the phone made it too hard to really see.
She asked about going for a ride, and I told her we will talk with the care team about that this week, and that a lot depends on whether she wants to try therapy again. She answered "I tried that." We'll see. Long before she goes for a ride, she'd need to be able to stand and pivot on her own (well, with help) and she has previously not made progress in that direction. I hate to promise her things that are not real possibilities, but I like to keep an open mind. So I try to prompt her to think about achievable small steps: perhaps using the remote for her TV or combing her hair.
We tried calling Vivien, who was not in (she called me back as I wrote this - they were out celebrating Purim,) then called Merryl, her friend in Freehold. During her talk with Merryl, Mom asked me my last name. Merryl answered with hers (we were on speaker phone,) but it turns out Mom was talking to me.
This is what I mean about her on-again off-again lucidity. All of this has a medical background, so it is not unexpected; it just is. I told her, and reminded her I'm her son. After Merryl got off the phone, Mom asked me again, and I reminded her -- whereupon she explained to me that one of her sons had died six days ago in a terrible accident. I assured her it must be someone else, etc., then tried to call Mark, to better reassure her, but we didn't reach him. (On top of it being Purim, it's also beautiful out here, and I suspect there as well!)
In any event, Mom seemed to recognize that I really meant what I was saying about her sons being okay. Either way, she let go of the subject.
We returned to the subject of photos and paintings... and I let her know that when we receive new pictures, we will always make sure they go where she can see them!
Hag Purim to all, or as I tell Laura, Happy Jewish Saint Patrick's Day!
Mom looked through them, and (since they are now on the table where her television is,) I told her we'd arrange them where she could see them, on her wall. I also asked her if she would like us to put up the Georgia O'Keefe poster and the Toulouse Lautrec copy (it's a dancehall girl, a painting I remember from growing up, but that had fallen out of favor in her condo.) We have a few more smaller pieces of art that we salvaged when the condo was sold, and I told her we'd hang them next to her bed. She said "you'll have to help me design it," by which I think she meant we'll have to help her arrange the pictures. That sounded fine by me. We'll get those up, and move her pictures closer to her, over the next few days.
Then she began to talk about taking photos, so I took a few with my phone, and I showed them to her. She studied the pictures of herself, but did not say anything. I don't read much into that. I think she goes into more and less lucid states; she may have been taken aback by seeing herself as she is now, with little affect, some asymetry, and no makeup -- but she didn't respond as if shocked. She looked, and I told her it was the picture I just took, but it seemed more that there was a disconnect -- that regardless of that information, I must have been showing her a picture of someone else. Or for all I know, the glare on the phone made it too hard to really see.
She asked about going for a ride, and I told her we will talk with the care team about that this week, and that a lot depends on whether she wants to try therapy again. She answered "I tried that." We'll see. Long before she goes for a ride, she'd need to be able to stand and pivot on her own (well, with help) and she has previously not made progress in that direction. I hate to promise her things that are not real possibilities, but I like to keep an open mind. So I try to prompt her to think about achievable small steps: perhaps using the remote for her TV or combing her hair.
We tried calling Vivien, who was not in (she called me back as I wrote this - they were out celebrating Purim,) then called Merryl, her friend in Freehold. During her talk with Merryl, Mom asked me my last name. Merryl answered with hers (we were on speaker phone,) but it turns out Mom was talking to me.
This is what I mean about her on-again off-again lucidity. All of this has a medical background, so it is not unexpected; it just is. I told her, and reminded her I'm her son. After Merryl got off the phone, Mom asked me again, and I reminded her -- whereupon she explained to me that one of her sons had died six days ago in a terrible accident. I assured her it must be someone else, etc., then tried to call Mark, to better reassure her, but we didn't reach him. (On top of it being Purim, it's also beautiful out here, and I suspect there as well!)
In any event, Mom seemed to recognize that I really meant what I was saying about her sons being okay. Either way, she let go of the subject.
We returned to the subject of photos and paintings... and I let her know that when we receive new pictures, we will always make sure they go where she can see them!
Hag Purim to all, or as I tell Laura, Happy Jewish Saint Patrick's Day!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Saturday, 3/19
Dan blogging today, as Laura got a much-needed day off this morning before we went out on errands.
When I got to Mom's room a little after nine this morning, her eyes were already a little open, and she opened them a bit wider and turned toward me when I said good morning, but she didn't reply. I made mention of how nice it's getting outside (It's been beautiful here in Virginia the last couple of days; The sun has been out, the temperature's been mild, and the wind's been light,) and she agreed, "yes, it's beautiful." Thereafter Mom would look at me when I spoke, but said very little. So, I talked about all the good wishes you've all sent along, told her a bit about Laura's/my grandkids, asked her whether there was anything she wanted or needed. She shook her head no for this last. She watched me, but did not speak much at all. I asked her if she wanted me to turn on the television, and she surprised me by answering, "do you want it?" I said no, not especially -- unless she did of course. She said "then no," and we resumed our silence.
Around 10, a nurse's aid came in to get her washed up and ready for the day. I thought she may wake up a bit more when I came back in, but she didn't. So I sat with her until a little before 11. I tell myself that sometimes, if you don't feel like talking, it's nice there's someone familiar there to not talk to.
When I got to Mom's room a little after nine this morning, her eyes were already a little open, and she opened them a bit wider and turned toward me when I said good morning, but she didn't reply. I made mention of how nice it's getting outside (It's been beautiful here in Virginia the last couple of days; The sun has been out, the temperature's been mild, and the wind's been light,) and she agreed, "yes, it's beautiful." Thereafter Mom would look at me when I spoke, but said very little. So, I talked about all the good wishes you've all sent along, told her a bit about Laura's/my grandkids, asked her whether there was anything she wanted or needed. She shook her head no for this last. She watched me, but did not speak much at all. I asked her if she wanted me to turn on the television, and she surprised me by answering, "do you want it?" I said no, not especially -- unless she did of course. She said "then no," and we resumed our silence.
Around 10, a nurse's aid came in to get her washed up and ready for the day. I thought she may wake up a bit more when I came back in, but she didn't. So I sat with her until a little before 11. I tell myself that sometimes, if you don't feel like talking, it's nice there's someone familiar there to not talk to.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Not much to report today. It was "shower day," and Estelle was worn out from the whole thing. They were just taking her to the shower room when I arrived at 9AM. While she was gone they cleaned her room and her bed and when she came back everything was nice and clean for her. We had brought her some tightly closed tulips yesterday and they were already wide open and beautiful. The nurses had opened the window a bit and the air was fresh and balmy. Unfortunately, Estelle was sound asleep and not responding to any of it. Seems to be a pattern of sorts, good day, bad day. We're keeping an eye on it to see if we can attribute it to anything in particular but so far, no clue.
I did talk to the social worker and there is a "care plan" meeting set for next Thursday. Dan has taken the morning off to attend. We will get to meet with her nurses, her physical therapist, her occupational therapist and her social worker and they will tell us what their plan of action is going to be. Monday we will be talking with the doctor, as well.
The nurse's aide was very nice this morning. Her name is Mary and she's very protective of Mom. She did ask me to bring some "good smellin," shampoo and body soap because it is her belief (and mine, too) that good soaps and shampoos make a woman feel special. She said they have soap and shampoo there, of course, but that even tho it works the same, it doesn't feel as good. She used a body lotion on Mom that she and the bath aide had handmade - apparently they use the lotion the home provides but they add scented oils so that it feels smoother and smells nicer. It really did smell and feel very nice and I'm hoping they'll give me their recipe.
I helped them move Mom from the chair to the bed and she definitely does not like the "lift" contraption. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't either.
Once she was back in bed and settled she promptly went to sleep and I did not have the heart to try real hard to wake her. I stuck around for awhile but decided that as long as she was sleeping I'd run some errands and pick up the soap and shampoo and a few other things she needed.
Dan and I went back after work but she was, again, sound asleep and we could not rouse her. The nurse said she had been awake earlier when he came on duty at 3PM but we had no luck in getting her to talk to us.
Her phone is finally installed. The direct line is: 703-535-7315
Dan will be visiting tomorrow during the day. It seems to be the best time to find her alert and talkative.
Hope all is well with everyone. Spring is in the air here - hopefully it is the same wherever you are. The trees are blooming like crazy and the daffodils and tulips are up. The daffodils amaze me. Back home in Indiana we pay big bucks for bulbs and cultivate them like mad, hoping they survive the frosts after the first warm days. Here they grow totally wild alongside the highway like weeds. I am always tempted to pull my car over and pick them because it seems like such a waste of beauty. They bounce so delightfully in the wind.
I did talk to the social worker and there is a "care plan" meeting set for next Thursday. Dan has taken the morning off to attend. We will get to meet with her nurses, her physical therapist, her occupational therapist and her social worker and they will tell us what their plan of action is going to be. Monday we will be talking with the doctor, as well.
The nurse's aide was very nice this morning. Her name is Mary and she's very protective of Mom. She did ask me to bring some "good smellin," shampoo and body soap because it is her belief (and mine, too) that good soaps and shampoos make a woman feel special. She said they have soap and shampoo there, of course, but that even tho it works the same, it doesn't feel as good. She used a body lotion on Mom that she and the bath aide had handmade - apparently they use the lotion the home provides but they add scented oils so that it feels smoother and smells nicer. It really did smell and feel very nice and I'm hoping they'll give me their recipe.
I helped them move Mom from the chair to the bed and she definitely does not like the "lift" contraption. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't either.
Once she was back in bed and settled she promptly went to sleep and I did not have the heart to try real hard to wake her. I stuck around for awhile but decided that as long as she was sleeping I'd run some errands and pick up the soap and shampoo and a few other things she needed.
Dan and I went back after work but she was, again, sound asleep and we could not rouse her. The nurse said she had been awake earlier when he came on duty at 3PM but we had no luck in getting her to talk to us.
Her phone is finally installed. The direct line is: 703-535-7315
Dan will be visiting tomorrow during the day. It seems to be the best time to find her alert and talkative.
Hope all is well with everyone. Spring is in the air here - hopefully it is the same wherever you are. The trees are blooming like crazy and the daffodils and tulips are up. The daffodils amaze me. Back home in Indiana we pay big bucks for bulbs and cultivate them like mad, hoping they survive the frosts after the first warm days. Here they grow totally wild alongside the highway like weeds. I am always tempted to pull my car over and pick them because it seems like such a waste of beauty. They bounce so delightfully in the wind.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Happy St. Patrick's Day!!
Good day - bad day today. Estelle was very alert when I arrived at 9AM this morning, and somewhat unhappy. She says she does not like it where she's at and she wants to come and live with her children. We talked for awhile about why that was not possible and explained that we would be close by and would be available whenever she needed anything. She was worried that she had not talked to her children and asked me to call each of them and she then talked to Dan, Mark and Vivian in quick succession which seemed to make her quite a bit happier. She also got a phone call from her old neighbor, Sandy, which she totally enjoyed.
We then spent some time looking at old pictures and talking about what she could do. (Such as sit in the chair, go outside, watch television, be read to, listen to music, go to activities, look out the window, talk to her roommate, make phone calls to anyone she wanted to talk to, etc..) We also talked about what she could not do at this time, which was come and live with one of her children because she needs specialized care at this time. She asked me if I had noticed that she has "changed," and we talked a little about being sick and what it does to a person and how it doesn't matter to people who love you.
All in all, it was a sad visit but I think a very positive one. To me, once you understand a situation it becomes much easier to accept it and to work to improve it. She is very interested in getting up in a chair and PT evaluated her this afternoon and we will find out tomorrow what their recommendations are. (Everybody say a prayer, please.) She also wanted me to clean her face and told me that she used to put lotion on every night so I promised to bring lotion and help her apply it every day.
She was getting tired out by noon and I left shortly after that, promising to come back with Dan after work.
After work, however, seems not to work so well. Once again she was sleeping and we were unable to wake her so we did not stay long this evening. Dan is going to try to adjust his work hours so that he will start later and leave later on certain days thus freeing him up some mornings to go in before work when she seems to be most receptive to visitors and conversation.
She looks very good. Her eyes are focused almost all of the time and she tracks things and people appropriately. She's moving her arms purposefully and seems to want to do more things with her hands. (She even asked me for a pencil today because she wanted to make a list but wasn't sure what she wanted on it.) She's moving her head more in order to look at whoever she's talking to and she's charming all the nurses with her politeness and gratitude for everything they do for her.
Still no phone in her room - hopefully tomorrow. We do have our cell phones with us whenever we visit, however, so feel free to call. It is almost preferable to use the cell phones in a way because we can put it on speaker phone and it seems as though she hears better with the loudspeaker on than she does when I hold a regular phone to her ear.
Once again, thanks for all the emails and phone calls. We do read the emails to her and tell her about the calls and the well wishes that we are getting on her behalf.
**It would also be great if people could send her pictures. She really seems to like having them put on her "board" and she likes looking at them. They are good reminders of people we do not get to see often. I know I love getting pictures of my children and grandchildren (as do we all!!) and I thought if people sent some to her she would really enjoy having them surrounding her bed.**
Good day - bad day today. Estelle was very alert when I arrived at 9AM this morning, and somewhat unhappy. She says she does not like it where she's at and she wants to come and live with her children. We talked for awhile about why that was not possible and explained that we would be close by and would be available whenever she needed anything. She was worried that she had not talked to her children and asked me to call each of them and she then talked to Dan, Mark and Vivian in quick succession which seemed to make her quite a bit happier. She also got a phone call from her old neighbor, Sandy, which she totally enjoyed.
We then spent some time looking at old pictures and talking about what she could do. (Such as sit in the chair, go outside, watch television, be read to, listen to music, go to activities, look out the window, talk to her roommate, make phone calls to anyone she wanted to talk to, etc..) We also talked about what she could not do at this time, which was come and live with one of her children because she needs specialized care at this time. She asked me if I had noticed that she has "changed," and we talked a little about being sick and what it does to a person and how it doesn't matter to people who love you.
All in all, it was a sad visit but I think a very positive one. To me, once you understand a situation it becomes much easier to accept it and to work to improve it. She is very interested in getting up in a chair and PT evaluated her this afternoon and we will find out tomorrow what their recommendations are. (Everybody say a prayer, please.) She also wanted me to clean her face and told me that she used to put lotion on every night so I promised to bring lotion and help her apply it every day.
She was getting tired out by noon and I left shortly after that, promising to come back with Dan after work.
After work, however, seems not to work so well. Once again she was sleeping and we were unable to wake her so we did not stay long this evening. Dan is going to try to adjust his work hours so that he will start later and leave later on certain days thus freeing him up some mornings to go in before work when she seems to be most receptive to visitors and conversation.
She looks very good. Her eyes are focused almost all of the time and she tracks things and people appropriately. She's moving her arms purposefully and seems to want to do more things with her hands. (She even asked me for a pencil today because she wanted to make a list but wasn't sure what she wanted on it.) She's moving her head more in order to look at whoever she's talking to and she's charming all the nurses with her politeness and gratitude for everything they do for her.
Still no phone in her room - hopefully tomorrow. We do have our cell phones with us whenever we visit, however, so feel free to call. It is almost preferable to use the cell phones in a way because we can put it on speaker phone and it seems as though she hears better with the loudspeaker on than she does when I hold a regular phone to her ear.
Once again, thanks for all the emails and phone calls. We do read the emails to her and tell her about the calls and the well wishes that we are getting on her behalf.
**It would also be great if people could send her pictures. She really seems to like having them put on her "board" and she likes looking at them. They are good reminders of people we do not get to see often. I know I love getting pictures of my children and grandchildren (as do we all!!) and I thought if people sent some to her she would really enjoy having them surrounding her bed.**
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Estelle is in her new room this evening. It is on the same floor with the same nurses but this one is a 2-bed room right next to the nurse's station. The room number is 201A. It is not a window bed but it is considerably larger than the one she was in earlier, and somewhat larger than her room at The Manor. She has an entire double closet to herself as well as two sets of dresser drawers. We've put some of her pictures out and we are trying to get permission to hang her O'Keefe print from home on the wall next to her bed. She has her own television, complete with cable and her phone should be installed in the next day or two. I will get the number to everyone as soon as it becomes available.
Unfortunately, we aren't sure how she likes the room as she's been sleeping all day. I spent a few hours with her this morning but she did not wake up at all while I was there. (It ended up being a good thing, however, because her two roommates in the old room were fighting with one another at the top of their lungs for much of the time I was there. I was somewhat in awe of the language that two 90 year old women could spit at one another - but that's another story. Part of me was horrified, part of me hopes I have that kind of energy, minus the venom, left in me!!)
Anyhow, I did not try very hard to wake Estelle for obvious reasons.
They could not move her when I was there this AM because the new room had not been cleaned and they were waiting for a new air mattress (like the one she had at The Manor to arrive) and I had a few things I needed to do so I had to leave before the move took place. By the time Dan and I got back there this evening she was all snug in her new room on her new mattress and still sleeping peacefully. Her new roommate is named Mabel and is a very nice lady who is quite talkative, very friendly and quite concerned about Mom. She's soft spoken and kindly and has promised to "keep an eye" on Mom. What a difference a roommate makes!!
We stayed about an hour, unpacking her suitcase and putting the pictures up, but she did not wake up and, as it was already nearing 7:30PM and Mabel was getting sleepy we did not try really hard to rouse her.
I will be going back in the morning around 9:15AM. Hopefully she will be more alert again tomorrow.
Thanks for all the wishes and concern once again. It's very helpful to all of us.
Unfortunately, we aren't sure how she likes the room as she's been sleeping all day. I spent a few hours with her this morning but she did not wake up at all while I was there. (It ended up being a good thing, however, because her two roommates in the old room were fighting with one another at the top of their lungs for much of the time I was there. I was somewhat in awe of the language that two 90 year old women could spit at one another - but that's another story. Part of me was horrified, part of me hopes I have that kind of energy, minus the venom, left in me!!)
Anyhow, I did not try very hard to wake Estelle for obvious reasons.
They could not move her when I was there this AM because the new room had not been cleaned and they were waiting for a new air mattress (like the one she had at The Manor to arrive) and I had a few things I needed to do so I had to leave before the move took place. By the time Dan and I got back there this evening she was all snug in her new room on her new mattress and still sleeping peacefully. Her new roommate is named Mabel and is a very nice lady who is quite talkative, very friendly and quite concerned about Mom. She's soft spoken and kindly and has promised to "keep an eye" on Mom. What a difference a roommate makes!!
We stayed about an hour, unpacking her suitcase and putting the pictures up, but she did not wake up and, as it was already nearing 7:30PM and Mabel was getting sleepy we did not try really hard to rouse her.
I will be going back in the morning around 9:15AM. Hopefully she will be more alert again tomorrow.
Thanks for all the wishes and concern once again. It's very helpful to all of us.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
New Room #
The social worker just called and notified us that a bed in a double room has opened up and Mom will be moving (for the last time) tomorrow (3/16/11) morning as soon as I get there. The phone number to her room will be changing at that time. I will let everyone know what it is as soon as we find out.
Her new room number will be 201A.
Her new room number will be 201A.
Tuesday - Day 1 1/2
Spent the morning with Estelle. Busy day already. Between 8AM and 11:30AM she was visited and assessed by Teena, the nursing supervisor, Wayne, the activities director, Miriam and her assistant from Wound Care, her new physician, Dr. Trahos and a host of nurses and nurse's aides from her unit.
Everyone was very nice to her and she was very talkative and grateful in return. Teena seems like a great asset. She's new on the job, just three weeks, and comes from a supervisory position in a Maryland hospital and she seems very dedicated and very interested in hearing from patients and families on ways to improve their services. I had mentioned three small concerns and before I left an hour later, two of them had been taken care of already.
The activities department listed some of the things they offered that she might like to attend and said that if she does not want to go to them, they will come to her. I've set it up, for now, that someone will come and read the newspaper to her three times a week.
Estelle was very talkative this morning again. The nurses said she had slept most all of the night and she was bright eyed and inquisitive when I arrived. She's still a little confused about "her new home," and she is most often uncertain as to who I am - but she says everything is "lovely," and she's asking a lot of questions about what we can do and where she can go. She's also helping to give her medical and social history to the staff when they ask and even corrected me when I said that she preferred to stay in bed as opposed to getting sat up in a chair. She said, quite determinedly, "If I have to stay in this bed all the time you may as well shoot me." At which point we all assured her that we will get her up and sitting in no time. It will take a few days, however, because physical therapy will have to evaluate her and decide which type of chair is best for her and how long of a time she can be comfortable in a sitting position.
We talked about her friends and family alot. She was eager to call people on the phone. She spoke for a bit to Vivian which she enjoyed a great deal and then when I offered to call someone else she said, "Oh pleeeease, you must know it is very tiring to talk talk talk all the time....let's wait awhile."
By 11:30 she was looking pretty tired so I decided to leave and let her get a nap if she could. I did stop at the local Bed Bath and Beyond to pick up a cervical pillow that the wound care supervisor had advised might help her with her neck control and keep some of the pressure off of her neck and Dan and I will be going back to visit tonight when he gets off work.
Thanks to everyone who's writing, calling and keeping us all in their thoughts. We do tell Estelle every time we hear from someone and she's always interested and pleased.
Everyone was very nice to her and she was very talkative and grateful in return. Teena seems like a great asset. She's new on the job, just three weeks, and comes from a supervisory position in a Maryland hospital and she seems very dedicated and very interested in hearing from patients and families on ways to improve their services. I had mentioned three small concerns and before I left an hour later, two of them had been taken care of already.
The activities department listed some of the things they offered that she might like to attend and said that if she does not want to go to them, they will come to her. I've set it up, for now, that someone will come and read the newspaper to her three times a week.
Estelle was very talkative this morning again. The nurses said she had slept most all of the night and she was bright eyed and inquisitive when I arrived. She's still a little confused about "her new home," and she is most often uncertain as to who I am - but she says everything is "lovely," and she's asking a lot of questions about what we can do and where she can go. She's also helping to give her medical and social history to the staff when they ask and even corrected me when I said that she preferred to stay in bed as opposed to getting sat up in a chair. She said, quite determinedly, "If I have to stay in this bed all the time you may as well shoot me." At which point we all assured her that we will get her up and sitting in no time. It will take a few days, however, because physical therapy will have to evaluate her and decide which type of chair is best for her and how long of a time she can be comfortable in a sitting position.
We talked about her friends and family alot. She was eager to call people on the phone. She spoke for a bit to Vivian which she enjoyed a great deal and then when I offered to call someone else she said, "Oh pleeeease, you must know it is very tiring to talk talk talk all the time....let's wait awhile."
By 11:30 she was looking pretty tired so I decided to leave and let her get a nap if she could. I did stop at the local Bed Bath and Beyond to pick up a cervical pillow that the wound care supervisor had advised might help her with her neck control and keep some of the pressure off of her neck and Dan and I will be going back to visit tonight when he gets off work.
Thanks to everyone who's writing, calling and keeping us all in their thoughts. We do tell Estelle every time we hear from someone and she's always interested and pleased.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011 - Trip to Va.
Just a quick note to let everyone know that Estelle arrived at Woodbine around 3:15PM today. All went well.
Dan and I arrived at The Manor late afternoon on Saturday. Estelle was not very talkative at the time but we spent a few hours trying to prepare her, mentally and physically (packing up her clothing and belongings and cleaning the room) as best we could.
Her doctor at The Manor was in to see her very early this morning. He called us around 7:30AM to tell us that he had examined her thoroughly and that, in his estimation, she was "good to go." Her vitals were stable, she was awake and alert and he felt it was a great time for her to be making the journey.
We got to The Manor a bit before 9AM. Dan went over to the hospital to get some records that the doctor here in Virginia had requested and I went directly to The Manor. Mom was very awake and talking well. She was quite concerned about the move and how it was going to affect her friends and family. We reassured her that everyone knew about the move and that everyone was going to remain in contact with her. She was a bit afraid of the trip but we assured her that one of us would be riding with her and that we would make sure nothing bad could or would happen to her. She also raised some concerns about Shabbos and (I have no idea why) her jewelry which she wanted to have with her. We told her that her jewelry was safe and that there was Shabbos in Va. just as there was in NJ and everywhere else and that we would be able to spend it with her from now on. She seemed quite content with that and settled down.
The ambulance came, as promised, exactly at 11AM and we were soon on our way. The ride was not bad at all. It was a brand new ambulance with new shocks and great suspension. (Having spend a good portion of my adult life riding in old ambulances with worn out shocks and horrible suspension I can tell you it was a wonderful ride!!) There were two very kind, very compentent medics with us and Mom stayed awake for most of the trip and rode the entire way without complaint.
We arrived at Woodbine a little after 3PM. Her room was ready for her and we went about the business of getting settled in. I think she's a bit frightened by the new atmosphere...her roommate has the TV on very loud and, while she turns it down when requested, turns it back up within a short time. This is not Mom's "forever" room, however, so we've explained that to her and she seems to understand. It does make it a little difficult to hear her when she talks but we'll make the best of it until she gets moved again - hopefully in a short time.
The nurses there have already spoken to her new doctor, gotten all of her medications and feedings ordered and they will keep her right on schedule. The doctor and the social worker will be in tomorrow morning to see her. They will then schedule a time for her to be evaluated by the physical and occupational therapy departments.
I am heartened by how lucid and talkative Mom was today. It was very nice to see a bit of the "old" Estelle again. We are sorry she was somewhat confused and frightened by the move and we are hoping her night goes well, that she gets plenty of sleep and wakes in the morning feeling a bit more reassured and at home. It's going to take a little while, I am sure, The Manor has been her home for 7 months now and she was familiar with and trusting of the nursing staff there. This is a big change and we will do our best to help get her through it and come out on the other side feeling happier and healthier.
Thanks to everyone who called us or sent an email wishing Estelle well. Your thoughts and concerns are much appreciated. We're all a bit ragged tonight - it's been a long day and stressful for all of us, I think.
I will be going back to Woodbine early tomorrow morning. I will take Dan to the train station and stop there on my way back home. I am hoping to be there when the doctor gets there and I will be meeting with the social worker to make sure the room change is being worked on.
There is a phone in her room and the number is: 703-837-6527. It is a direct line. Estelle is unable to answer it herself but if anyone wants to call I will be there around 9AM and will stay much of the morning. If I do not answer, please call again in case I am out of the room for some reason. You can also call my cell phone and if I am not there I can tell you approximately what time one or both of us will be back.
Dan and I arrived at The Manor late afternoon on Saturday. Estelle was not very talkative at the time but we spent a few hours trying to prepare her, mentally and physically (packing up her clothing and belongings and cleaning the room) as best we could.
Her doctor at The Manor was in to see her very early this morning. He called us around 7:30AM to tell us that he had examined her thoroughly and that, in his estimation, she was "good to go." Her vitals were stable, she was awake and alert and he felt it was a great time for her to be making the journey.
We got to The Manor a bit before 9AM. Dan went over to the hospital to get some records that the doctor here in Virginia had requested and I went directly to The Manor. Mom was very awake and talking well. She was quite concerned about the move and how it was going to affect her friends and family. We reassured her that everyone knew about the move and that everyone was going to remain in contact with her. She was a bit afraid of the trip but we assured her that one of us would be riding with her and that we would make sure nothing bad could or would happen to her. She also raised some concerns about Shabbos and (I have no idea why) her jewelry which she wanted to have with her. We told her that her jewelry was safe and that there was Shabbos in Va. just as there was in NJ and everywhere else and that we would be able to spend it with her from now on. She seemed quite content with that and settled down.
The ambulance came, as promised, exactly at 11AM and we were soon on our way. The ride was not bad at all. It was a brand new ambulance with new shocks and great suspension. (Having spend a good portion of my adult life riding in old ambulances with worn out shocks and horrible suspension I can tell you it was a wonderful ride!!) There were two very kind, very compentent medics with us and Mom stayed awake for most of the trip and rode the entire way without complaint.
We arrived at Woodbine a little after 3PM. Her room was ready for her and we went about the business of getting settled in. I think she's a bit frightened by the new atmosphere...her roommate has the TV on very loud and, while she turns it down when requested, turns it back up within a short time. This is not Mom's "forever" room, however, so we've explained that to her and she seems to understand. It does make it a little difficult to hear her when she talks but we'll make the best of it until she gets moved again - hopefully in a short time.
The nurses there have already spoken to her new doctor, gotten all of her medications and feedings ordered and they will keep her right on schedule. The doctor and the social worker will be in tomorrow morning to see her. They will then schedule a time for her to be evaluated by the physical and occupational therapy departments.
I am heartened by how lucid and talkative Mom was today. It was very nice to see a bit of the "old" Estelle again. We are sorry she was somewhat confused and frightened by the move and we are hoping her night goes well, that she gets plenty of sleep and wakes in the morning feeling a bit more reassured and at home. It's going to take a little while, I am sure, The Manor has been her home for 7 months now and she was familiar with and trusting of the nursing staff there. This is a big change and we will do our best to help get her through it and come out on the other side feeling happier and healthier.
Thanks to everyone who called us or sent an email wishing Estelle well. Your thoughts and concerns are much appreciated. We're all a bit ragged tonight - it's been a long day and stressful for all of us, I think.
I will be going back to Woodbine early tomorrow morning. I will take Dan to the train station and stop there on my way back home. I am hoping to be there when the doctor gets there and I will be meeting with the social worker to make sure the room change is being worked on.
There is a phone in her room and the number is: 703-837-6527. It is a direct line. Estelle is unable to answer it herself but if anyone wants to call I will be there around 9AM and will stay much of the morning. If I do not answer, please call again in case I am out of the room for some reason. You can also call my cell phone and if I am not there I can tell you approximately what time one or both of us will be back.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Estelle's Upcoming Move
We're excited!! After much discussion and much research and much worry the family has decided to move our mom, Estelle Halberstein, to Alexandria, Virginia. Barring any complications, she will be moving here (by ambulance) on Monday, March 14, 2011. One of us will be riding with her so she will not be alone for the trip.
She will be moving to a Rehabilitation and Healthcare center called Woodbine which is located here in Alexandria. Hopefully she will feel at least somewhat at home here having been a resident of Fredricksburg, Va. for much of her married life. We're a bit north of Fredricksburg but we have the same beautiful magnolia and dogwood trees and she'll also be here in time for Cherry Blossom blooming. There are trees of all kinds on the grounds of Woodbine that she should be able to see from her window and as soon as the weather permits we can take her outside to the patio area where she can smell them and touch them as well as see them.
Woodbine is a beautiful facility (there are some pictures posted below) located about 4.5 miles from our condo. It takes between 10 and 20 minutes to get to there from here. There is a hospital located just 2 miles away and it is centered directly between our house and the nursing home. Hopefully there will be no trips there but if the need should arise it is close by and we can get there quickly.
Woodbine is located on King Street, just a few blocks north of the high school, T. C. Williams, made famous by the movie, Remember the Titans, and a mile or two south of our famous "Old Town" area.
Her new physician is also our physician so we are very comfortable with having him take care of her. He specializes in internal medicine and geriatic medicine and his patients all seem to love him. Hopefully Mom will like him, too.
The address and phone number to Woodbine is located on the sidebar. She will eventually have her own personal phone and phone number but that'll take a little while to get installed. We will give everyone the information as soon as it becomes available. Her room assignment right now is only temporary. It is located in a three-bed room and she will be moved to a two-bed room as soon as one becomes available.
Woodbine is a large facility with over 300 beds. Mom will be on the second floor in one of two long-term care areas. It is bright and cheery and there are lots of nurses and nurse's aides in sight at all times. There are several large sitting rooms on each floor - all with lovely furnishings and large fish tanks. There are also several outdoor areas for patients and visitors to spend time in.
They also have a huge physical and occupational therapy area which we hope that Mom will be able to partake in once she becomes acclimated to the move and the change. Even if she is not able to go to them, they will continue to go to her bedside with the therapies she is currently receiving at The Manor and hopefully she will get an in-room visit or two from my favorite therapist - a full time (and very friendly) dog!!
We are also in the process of enrolling Mom (and ourselves) in a local synagogue. Once she is enrolled she will receive regular visits from the rabbi and from a group of volunteer members of the congregation called "The Caring Community."
If anyone wishes to speak to Estelle, please feel free to call me (Laura) at any time and we can set it up. If you do not have my phone number please email Dan or I (or contact me here) and we will gladly give it to you. While Mom does not always speak to people on the phone you can tell by the look on her face that she is very glad to hear from them - so any time anyone wants to talk to her we will be very happy to oblige.
If anyone has any questions please let us know and we will do our best to answer them. Family and friends are very important to Estelle and we hope to supply her with lots of contact with both. It's not something we can do alone, however, so please, stay in touch with us.
She will be moving to a Rehabilitation and Healthcare center called Woodbine which is located here in Alexandria. Hopefully she will feel at least somewhat at home here having been a resident of Fredricksburg, Va. for much of her married life. We're a bit north of Fredricksburg but we have the same beautiful magnolia and dogwood trees and she'll also be here in time for Cherry Blossom blooming. There are trees of all kinds on the grounds of Woodbine that she should be able to see from her window and as soon as the weather permits we can take her outside to the patio area where she can smell them and touch them as well as see them.
Woodbine is a beautiful facility (there are some pictures posted below) located about 4.5 miles from our condo. It takes between 10 and 20 minutes to get to there from here. There is a hospital located just 2 miles away and it is centered directly between our house and the nursing home. Hopefully there will be no trips there but if the need should arise it is close by and we can get there quickly.
Woodbine is located on King Street, just a few blocks north of the high school, T. C. Williams, made famous by the movie, Remember the Titans, and a mile or two south of our famous "Old Town" area.
Her new physician is also our physician so we are very comfortable with having him take care of her. He specializes in internal medicine and geriatic medicine and his patients all seem to love him. Hopefully Mom will like him, too.
The address and phone number to Woodbine is located on the sidebar. She will eventually have her own personal phone and phone number but that'll take a little while to get installed. We will give everyone the information as soon as it becomes available. Her room assignment right now is only temporary. It is located in a three-bed room and she will be moved to a two-bed room as soon as one becomes available.
Woodbine is a large facility with over 300 beds. Mom will be on the second floor in one of two long-term care areas. It is bright and cheery and there are lots of nurses and nurse's aides in sight at all times. There are several large sitting rooms on each floor - all with lovely furnishings and large fish tanks. There are also several outdoor areas for patients and visitors to spend time in.
They also have a huge physical and occupational therapy area which we hope that Mom will be able to partake in once she becomes acclimated to the move and the change. Even if she is not able to go to them, they will continue to go to her bedside with the therapies she is currently receiving at The Manor and hopefully she will get an in-room visit or two from my favorite therapist - a full time (and very friendly) dog!!
We are also in the process of enrolling Mom (and ourselves) in a local synagogue. Once she is enrolled she will receive regular visits from the rabbi and from a group of volunteer members of the congregation called "The Caring Community."
If anyone wishes to speak to Estelle, please feel free to call me (Laura) at any time and we can set it up. If you do not have my phone number please email Dan or I (or contact me here) and we will gladly give it to you. While Mom does not always speak to people on the phone you can tell by the look on her face that she is very glad to hear from them - so any time anyone wants to talk to her we will be very happy to oblige.
If anyone has any questions please let us know and we will do our best to answer them. Family and friends are very important to Estelle and we hope to supply her with lots of contact with both. It's not something we can do alone, however, so please, stay in touch with us.
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