Dan here again. Mom was much more chatty all today. If you've talked to her, you know her speech can still be soft and hard to understand at times, but sometimes it is very clear. At first today, she began to talk about photographs, and I asked her if she wanted to see some of the ones she has here. I brought over the photos of Oscar, Marlene, and some of their brood in England, then Mark with Leah when she was a baby, and one of Mom with Vivien on Viv's wedding day. Then she wanted to see a picture of me, so presto, I produced one of me and Laura holding baby Dominic when he was born (our first grandchild.)
Mom looked through them, and (since they are now on the table where her television is,) I told her we'd arrange them where she could see them, on her wall. I also asked her if she would like us to put up the Georgia O'Keefe poster and the Toulouse Lautrec copy (it's a dancehall girl, a painting I remember from growing up, but that had fallen out of favor in her condo.) We have a few more smaller pieces of art that we salvaged when the condo was sold, and I told her we'd hang them next to her bed. She said "you'll have to help me design it," by which I think she meant we'll have to help her arrange the pictures. That sounded fine by me. We'll get those up, and move her pictures closer to her, over the next few days.
Then she began to talk about taking photos, so I took a few with my phone, and I showed them to her. She studied the pictures of herself, but did not say anything. I don't read much into that. I think she goes into more and less lucid states; she may have been taken aback by seeing herself as she is now, with little affect, some asymetry, and no makeup -- but she didn't respond as if shocked. She looked, and I told her it was the picture I just took, but it seemed more that there was a disconnect -- that regardless of that information, I must have been showing her a picture of someone else. Or for all I know, the glare on the phone made it too hard to really see.
She asked about going for a ride, and I told her we will talk with the care team about that this week, and that a lot depends on whether she wants to try therapy again. She answered "I tried that." We'll see. Long before she goes for a ride, she'd need to be able to stand and pivot on her own (well, with help) and she has previously not made progress in that direction. I hate to promise her things that are not real possibilities, but I like to keep an open mind. So I try to prompt her to think about achievable small steps: perhaps using the remote for her TV or combing her hair.
We tried calling Vivien, who was not in (she called me back as I wrote this - they were out celebrating Purim,) then called Merryl, her friend in Freehold. During her talk with Merryl, Mom asked me my last name. Merryl answered with hers (we were on speaker phone,) but it turns out Mom was talking to me.
This is what I mean about her on-again off-again lucidity. All of this has a medical background, so it is not unexpected; it just is. I told her, and reminded her I'm her son. After Merryl got off the phone, Mom asked me again, and I reminded her -- whereupon she explained to me that one of her sons had died six days ago in a terrible accident. I assured her it must be someone else, etc., then tried to call Mark, to better reassure her, but we didn't reach him. (On top of it being Purim, it's also beautiful out here, and I suspect there as well!)
In any event, Mom seemed to recognize that I really meant what I was saying about her sons being okay. Either way, she let go of the subject.
We returned to the subject of photos and paintings... and I let her know that when we receive new pictures, we will always make sure they go where she can see them!
Hag Purim to all, or as I tell Laura, Happy Jewish Saint Patrick's Day!
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